Why you’re further along than you think (even if it doesn’t feel like it)

There’s a quiet pressure that creeps in for so many of us - particularly those who have been doing the inner work for a long time. You start thinking, almost accusingly: “I should be further along by now.” It’s a thought whispered in shame, as though growth has an exam you keep failing. But here’s the truth: if you’re constantly doing, constantly surviving, constantly in it, you never get the chance to recognise how far you’ve actually come. Why You Can’t See Your Own Progress Living your own life is like sailing at sea with no landmarks. You’ve travelled miles, but because you never stop, you don’t realise it. And for many people, pausing brings its own dread. Looking back can feel uncomfortable - there might be trauma, regret, mistakes, grief, or a past self you’d rather not revisit. So you keep moving forward, not out of ambition, but out of avoidance. But when you never look back, you lose sight of the incredible distance you’ve already travelled. The Trap of Forgetting Your Own Journey This is where a subtle but destructive pattern begins. When you forget your own progress, you start comparing yourself to others. Suddenly someone else’s relationship, home, career, or achievements feel like indictments against your pace. But their journey isn’t yours. Their storms weren’t your storms. Their rebuilding didn’t require the scaffolding yours did. Some people spend their twenties building a family. Some spend their thirties climbing a career ladder. Some spend entire decades repairing wounds no one else can see. And those who have been healing - truly healing - often underestimate the magnitude of what they’ve accomplished. When you work through pain, confront patterns, learn boundaries, unpick old conditioning, and slowly build a more resilient version of yourself, that is progress. That counts. More than you think. It’s also the kind of transformation coaching can support, whether you seek it personally or consider stepping into a coaching franchise where you help others navigate their emotional landscape. Why Reflection Is Part of the Healing Process Progress isn’t linear. It isn’t tidy. And it certainly isn’t measured in milestones the world applauds. Most real change happens quietly, internally, in ways no one else could possibly understand. Yet this kind of change can be the hardest to acknowledge because there’s nothing external to validate it. If you’ve rebuilt yourself after a painful chapter, you’ve already done something extraordinary. If you’ve questioned your old way of living, or stood up to patterns that once swallowed you whole, you are further ahead than your self-critical mind allows you to believe. And if you’ve considered helping others do the same, you’re touching on the heart of what a coaching franchise is designed to achieve. Healing doesn’t always look like success. Sometimes it looks like survival. And survival is its own kind of triumph. Reframing What ‘Further Along’ Really Means Instead of measuring your progress in comparison to others, measure it against who you used to be. Not to shame your past self, but to honour how far you’ve come. The moments you felt like giving up but didn’t. The boundaries you finally held. The relationships you stopped tolerating. The quieter mind you slowly created. These are landmarks too. And if you continue this journey - whether through self-work, with therapeutic support, or one day through guiding others in a coaching franchise - your progress will keep unfolding. Not because you’re racing, but because you’re becoming. And becoming takes time, courage, and compassion for the road you’ve already walked. by Gemma Bailey (with the help of Ai) https://www.peoplebuilding.co.uk/franchise