The One Word That Reclaims Your Power

Someone I know (let’s call them Alex) got asked to cover a colleague’s shift last week. It wasn’t convenient. They’d already booked the day off. They’d had plans for actual rest. But the message came in with all the usual guilt triggers: “I wouldn’t ask if I wasn’t desperate.” “You’re the only one I can rely on.” “It’s just this once.” And before they could even think it through, they replied: “Yeah, alright.” Then sat there, phone in hand, wondering how they’d just given away their one free Saturday of the month. The Real Cost of Saying “Yes” Too Often Here’s the bit that matters - it wasn’t about the shift. It was about that reflex. That guilt-triggered, people-pleasing, don’t-want-to-disappoint reflex. When Alex talked about it later, they said: “I didn’t even want to say yes. I just panicked and did it.” That reflex response is a protective behaviour, born from a desire to be liked, needed, or seen as reliable. Psychologists call this approval addiction – a learned pattern where our self-worth becomes entangled with how useful or accommodating we are to others. But that kind of usefulness often comes at a cost: our boundaries, our rest, and our authenticity. The truth is, people who find their way to coaching often share this pattern. They’re exhausted not just by what they do, but by how they decide. They say “yes” because saying “no” feels dangerous - like they might lose approval, connection, or even identity. But the real loss happens in the background: the depletion of self-respect. Preparation Beats Pressure A few days later, the same colleague came knocking again. This time, Alex was ready. They had a script: “I’ve got plans that day, so I can’t. Hope you get it sorted though.” No drama. No over-explaining. No shame. Just a clear line in the sand. The difference wasn’t confidence. It was preparation. Because when you’ve rehearsed your “no,” when you’ve got a few phrases tucked in your back pocket, you stop making decisions from pressure and start making them from clarity. That’s what good coaching does too. In a coaching franchise like ours, we teach people how to find their clarity before they need it - how to create that pause between impulse and action where wisdom lives. Boundaries aren’t selfish; they’re a form of self-respect. And preparation isn’t avoidance; it’s empowerment. The Power of Small Scripts It doesn’t have to be fancy. Just something like: “Let me check before I commit.” “I’ve got other stuff on that day, sorry.” “That’s not going to work for me, I hope you understand.” That little pause script can change everything. Because when you protect your time, your energy, your peace - you don’t just avoid resentment. You reclaim your power. This is the work we do at People Building - helping individuals, and those who join our coaching franchise, to develop tools that strengthen boundaries and increase emotional resilience. Whether you’re supporting clients or leading a team, the art of the pause is what prevents burnout and preserves your best self. And for anyone who feels their life has become a collection of reluctant “yeses,” remember: power isn’t about control. It’s about choice. Build your pause. Reclaim your clarity. Say yes to yourself first. by Gemma Bailey (with the help of Ai) https://www.peoplebuilding.co.uk/franchise