I Helped My Neighbour – And I Regretted It Deeply

One of the beautiful but brutal realities of working in coaching, NLP, or therapy is that you care. You’re wired to help. You step up. You say yes. But sometimes, that very instinct – the one that makes you good at what you do – is exactly what puts you in trouble. When Kindness Comes at a Cost It was an ordinary day when my doorbell rang. On the other side stood my neighbour, pale, sweating, and mid-panic attack. He knew what I did for a living. His girlfriend had mentioned it once in passing. And in that moment, desperation overrode formalities – he asked for help. And of course, I helped him. I calmed him down, offered some immediate relief, and gave him strategies to manage what he was feeling. But what followed was a spiral that I should have seen coming – and a lesson that every coach in our community needs to hear. Just because someone is in pain doesn’t mean they’re your client. Soon after that doorstep intervention, he asked for a “proper” session. Then came a consultation. Then another session. That’s when the excuses started: “I don’t have the money just now.” “I’ve got a contract starting next month.” “Since we’re neighbours, could I just pay you later?” And I made the mistake. I said yes. When the Boundary Slips – It All Unravels Fast forward through five unpaid sessions and a growing sense of discomfort on my part. He arrived at my door again, this time not for coaching, but to ask if I could lend him money for his rent. That was the moment the scales fell from my eyes. I said no. Firmly. Unequivocally. Not because I didn’t care, but because I finally realised that I’d allowed myself to be manipulated under the guise of compassion. What started as professional generosity had turned into a one-sided, unpaid emotional labour contract. And unsurprisingly, shortly after that… he moved out. No payment. No apology. Just gone. Why This Lesson Matters for Coaches and Practitioners I share this story not for pity, but because I know many of you in the People Building community have been there – or are dangerously close to being there now. Maybe it’s a friend who asks for free advice over dinner. Maybe it’s a colleague who’s “going through something” and wants a few free sessions. Maybe it’s a client who promises to pay later… and never does. As someone who’s built a coaching franchise to support others in becoming sustainable, ethical practitioners, let me say this clearly: If you don’t set strong boundaries, someone else will set them for you – and it won’t be in your favour. This Is What We Teach Inside the Coaching Franchise Being part of the People Building coaching franchise isn’t just about learning tools to help others. It’s also about becoming rock solid in how you protect yourself. We teach coaches how to build sustainable businesses with clear professional policies, compassionate but firm boundaries, and the confidence to say, “No, this isn’t appropriate.” And here’s the irony: when you respect your time and energy, your clients do too. You model the very self-worth you want to instil in them. So if you’re the kind of person who always helps, even when it costs you… please learn from my story. Because helping should feel good – not leave you chasing unpaid invoices or emotionally burnt out. by Gemma Bailey (with the help of Ai) https://www.peoplebuilding.co.uk/franchise